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Create or Cry?

March 12, 2010

It has long been the case that if I don’t create something regularly, even daily, I begin to become depressed. Back in the days of being a busy mother raising my beloved children, while I wasn’t really able to draw and paint for a while, I still created a good deal with cooking and sewing at least. I did some varied crafts as well, such as weaving, along the way. Beyond the obvious creative pursuits, a good deal of my creative energies were thoroughly tapped in my efforts to be the best mom that I could. That was my choice. I saw no other way to mother. My children deserved no less than my best.

Is it the curse of the creative person to create or cry? Or am I simply some sort of aberration with a mood swing thing? Perhaps in my own case, this tendency to get down unless I create something (that I am passionate about greatly, if not to some degree), is exaggerated. Maybe it’s genetic, factors from childhood, or just my own uniquely developed personality. Maybe it’s a little bit of all three, but, if I don’t do more than the mundane chores and life maintenance stuff, I begin to feel a type of listlessness or worthlessness, or both. I seem born to create. Perhaps we all are, in our differing ways. Yes, I do tend to believe that we each have an inborn sense that compels us to wish to create something of worth to give to the world around us, and there are so many ways to create that we can be in the midst of creating without even realizing it.

And so I must create. I must paint, or draw, or write, or sew, or make something lovely or at least interesting to me. I must express myself. I must draw from within and pull something goodly out. If there is anyone who notices and appreciates my creations, so much the better. I wouldn’t want to create a meal that no person enjoyed, decorate a room that no one sat in, paint paintings that nobody ever saw nor write words or stories that no readers ever wanted to read. To be appreciated, seen or heard in that sense is an added bonus, but, the main part of it all for me is to at least create something I like from time to time, minimally. If I do not create something lovely, I feel that I begin to wither. To dramatically congeal this thought, it is: to do or die.


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